Do you tend to ask your child to eat all of their vegetables, or to finish what’s on their dinner plate, before they can get dessert?
Are you using the appeal of dessert as a motivator for meal completion or a reward for good behavior throughout the day?
If so, you’re not alone.
Unfortunately, establishing this type of “if —> then” relationship with sweets establishes a hierarchy with food by which your child needs to suffer through the former (the broccoli) in order to obtain the later (the brownie) which creates stress and pressure around food and very likely ongoing power struggles at the table.
Let’s look a little deeper…
For centuries, it has been commonplace to wait until after dinner or the end of the day to enjoy something sweet. Much of this tradition dates back to early European civilizations and the custom of having a palette cleanser to aid with satisfaction and digestion at the end of a heavier meal. Plus, sugar was a rare and expensive commodity back then, so it was meant to be savored.
Accessibility to sweets is very different today, however, and the practice of “saving” dessert for after dinner tends to have different intentions. It may seem like a good way to ensure your child “fills up” on protein and vegetables, a helpful strategy to avoid excessive sugar intake, or it may seem like an influential motivator to help your child get things done throughout the day.
It may sound backwards, but serving dessert alongside meals or at different points in the day can actually help neutralize your child’s relationship with sweets, decrease any preoccupation with sweet foods, encourage more balanced and nutritious eating habits, and actually decrease your child’s overall intake of sweets.
So, how can incorporating desserts earlier in the day actually neutralize their overall appeal?
Consider the following:
Serving dessert earlier in the day with meals and snacks helps teach your child that all foods are permissible, and we don’t need to “earn” dessert (or any other food for that matter).
When we encourage children to eat things like chicken or veggies first in order to deserve dessert, it unintentionally puts dessert on a pedestal, making it seem extra special. At the same time, this can also make your child feel like the chicken or veggies are the less desirable foods, almost like a chore they need to get over with.
Down the road, this can lead your child to being even more interested in dessert, and even less interested in nutritious foods.
When sweets are used as a reward or treat at the end of the day, it can actually make your child end up craving them more, as they are looking for that positive reinforcement. Similarly, if your child feels limited or restricted from having certain foods, they may be more likely to experience more intense cravings for that food and end up over-indulging once they do have access to it. By giving them a small portion of dessert more regularly, you’re helping them stay ahead of those cravings and ultimately, more in touch with what their body wants.
When you’re used to getting moderate doses of dessert more consistently, you may find that it takes smaller portions to actually satisfy that sweet craving. This goes back to avoiding that pedestal concept – the dessert feels less special and less emotionally charged, allowing your child to stop when they are genuinely satisfied.
If you serve dessert right alongside dinner, you are also ensuring that your child is not only getting their taste of sweetness, but also having protein, fiber, and high quality fats – all at the same time. This promotes slower, more balanced digestion, and an easier time actually feeling full.
Our bodies crave variety, and are more likely to feel full and satiated when there are multiple food groups, flavors, textures and temperatures on our plate. Serving dessert alongside other non-sweet foods not only levels the playing field with food, it helps show your child how to build a balanced plate, and the importance of including different foods at the same time to help promote satisfaction and fullness. This style of eating promotes flexibility, an important concept with food longer term.
When serving dessert alongside dinner, it gives your child the choice – do they want to eat the cookie before the rest of the meal, switch off back and forth between foods, or enjoy the cookie once they’ve finished everything else? Showing your child that all of these options are okay can help them feel a bit more in control over their eating choices. You are allowing them the opportunity to regulate their intake on their own, helping them build more confidence and trust in their bodies.
So, instead of waiting until after dinner to serve something sweet, you can try any of the following strategies:
We understand that in theory, you may be getting on board, but in practice, we know this can be difficult for many parents.
Be patient, and experiment with these practices slowly.
If you’re not already using some of these strategies, it’s normal to feel concerned that your child will only eat the dessert and ignore the rest of the valuable meal you prepared. Stay calm! You’re building new skills and they take time to master!
If your child goes immediately for dessert before having their dinner, eats some dinner and then requests more dessert, it’s perfectly appropriate to say something like, “we already enjoyed dessert for this evening but you can certainly enjoy more tomorrow. If you’re still hungry, please take some more chicken, rice or veggies.”
Remember that offering a small portion of dessert can have great long-term benefits for your child’s eating habits, their relationship with sweets and food as a whole, and also create some peace and calmness around meal times in your home.
Want a professional to help you learn more about pediatric nutrition? Reach out to our nutritionists in NY here at Appleman Nutrition.
Schedule a complimentary call to discuss your nutrition goals.
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