November 21, 2024

How to Not Become a Short Order Cook for Your Child

By Rebecca Appleman, RD

• Are you asking your children at mealtime “what would you like for dinner?”
• Are you taking orders from them as if you were running a restaurant in your own home and then preparing whatever is requested regardless of how many different meals this ends up being?
• Are you rattling off ingredients in your refrigerator in a desperate attempt for them to eat something?

In an effort to meet their children’s nutritional needs, parents often find themselves in the role of short order cook and over time this creates a sense of overwhelm and even dread about family meals. Rest assured, that there are ways to simplify meal preparation and minimize mealtime stress so that you can feel confident that you are both meeting your children’s nutrition needs as well as ensuring a pleasant meal environment.

These strategies should help streamline meal preparation while encouraging kids to explore new foods and make meal time easier overall.

The Truth About Options

When it comes to mealtime with younger children, be careful about assigning them the responsibility of determining what to eat; they’re simply not ready for this big role!

Rather, you decide what is prepared and they can decide what to eat from what you have prepared or plated for them. Asking them what they want for dinner is too big of choice for this age group and the truth is that what they want may not be available, may not be best for them, or may not work for the family as a whole.

Provide choices within reason (like 2 different raw sliced up veggies or 2 types of fruit) that are easy for you to manage and easy for them to choose from. If you predict that the primary component of the meal is not going to be accepted by one of your children, include a complimentary component that you know will be easily accepted at the start so that you are not scrambling during actual meal time.

Meals do not have to be perfect, they need to be adequate.  Also remember, by giving kids too many options or replacements, they only remain comfortable with what is familiar and may become less willing to try new foods.

Aim for Balanced-ish

Not every meal needs to be perfectly balanced.

Let’s say you serve carrots, chicken and rice for dinner. If your child does not touch the carrots, you don’t need to frantically prepare a different vegetable. It is okay if at any one meal there is a food group not represented.

Remember to take a broad assessment of your child’s intake for adequacy and not draw conclusions based on one meal. It’s also ok to try to get ahead of this struggle; for example, if you know carrots are one child’s favorite but not another’s, you can put a bowl of fresh blueberries or sliced cucumbers out on the table as well if one of these choices happens to be a favorite of the carrot hater. That way, everyone has something colorful from which to choose.

Accept Creative Food Combinations

It’s okay to serve foods together at a meal that you may not naturally see paired together, let’s say, restaurant style. For example, if you are serving beef chili, corn bread and sautéed spinach and you know your kids will turn their noses up at the spinach, it’s fine to add a bowl of strawberries to the table or some clementine slices (added bonus is that the high vitamin C value of these fruits will enhance their absorption of iron from the chili!).

It May Not Always Be Their Favorite

It’s okay to acknowledge that the meal served may not be your child’s favorite and to reassure them that you know for example, how much they love pasta with parmesan cheese, and you’ll be sure to have that option another day this week.  Reinforcing this message highlights that you understand your child’s preferences and also that you believe they can be flexible eaters.

Avoid Sneaking Foods

Honesty builds trust and with food and eating is no different. If your child asks about a food that is prepared, answer them simply and accurately.  Cooking with them (in an age appropriate way) may also build an interest in food that would not have been present if the food were just presented to them in completed, cooked form.

If questions aren’t specifically asked, there’s no reason to go into a detailed explanation for example, about the chia seeds you may have added to the tomato sauce you are using for their pasta, but if they notice the seeds and ask about them, you can provide a simple answer such as “these are super seeds for your brain and heart!”  You can further explain that they don’t have a taste but they do feel squishy and you can pick one out for them to touch.

When To Take A Deeper Look

If your child truly refuses most/all foods presented, or is slowly eliminating previously accepted foods from the diet, and you are finding feeding your child to be an insurmountable chore, this is a good time to reach out for additional support.

A skilled pediatric nutritionist can help you to determine the issues of priority when it comes to feeding, assist with diet expansion, address power struggles at the table and with food in general, and explore the existence of sensory challenges that may be creating challenges for your child with food.

If you’re interested in learning more about our nutrition counseling and pediatric nutrition services in NYC, as well as throughout New York, Connecticut, and Florida, please contact Appleman Nutrition, today.