December 27, 2024

How To Navigate Social Life With A Child With Food Allergies

By Rebecca Appleman, RD

Managing daily life with a child who has food allergies can be challenging for both your child and for you as their parent. You may feel like you have to rethink your own food choices, or navigate a complex dietary environment and the different preferences that people have.

But with some thoughtful strategies, you can create a safe and enjoyable eating environment for your child and reduce your worries about their safety. Consider the following:

• Find the Right Care Team – Choose knowledgeable and supportive professionals (which may include a pediatric allergist/immunologist, pulmonologist, gastroenterologist, and of course your pediatrician) and make sure that you have a clear understanding of how best to communicate with these care professionals should you need to be in touch with any of them in a pinch. Keep up with regular check ups and follow the doctor’s recommendations. Keep notes on any meaningful food interactions and non-urgent questions that come up between appointments so that you can share them in your follow up appointments and obtain the information you need to best care for your child.
• Connect with Community – Look for local or online groups for parents of children with food allergies. Sharing experiences, ideas and resources can provide valuable support. Discussing your challenges and solutions can help alleviate stress and provide new, helpful insight.
• Stay Confident, Calm and Positive – Your child will take note of your demeanor and very often gauge how they should react based on how they see you responding in any given situation. When educating them about their allergy, be calm, honest and provide simple, factual information. Be careful not to make assumptions about how the management of their allergy will make your child feel and reassure them that their allergy is completely manageable and that you will help them determine solutions for how to participate in all of the activities they enjoy in a safe way. Be mindful of the language you choose and consider descriptions such as “safe” and “not safe” versus “life-threatening.” And remember, the more you emphasize the importance and joy of eating your child’s safe foods, the more their focus will turn toward what they can include and not on what they have to avoid.
• Communicate – Ensure that everyone caring for your child knows about their allergy and how to manage it. Teachers and school staff, babysitters, and family members are key people in your child’s life that should know about their allergies and the plan in place for managing them. Write out the plan and keep it in a very visible spot in your home as well as review it verbally with the people who care most often for your children. Caretakers should have all medical provider information on hand as well.
• Plan Ahead – Establish a plan that outlines the steps to take in case of an allergic reaction. Include how to use an EpiPen and make a card that lists your child’s allergy You can keep the EpiPen and this card together in a small drawstring bag or pouch with your child’s name on it so that it is always at the ready. If feasible, you can have more than one of these pouches prepared for each child. They will grow to know on their own to grab their pouch and bring it along to parties and play dates.
• Educate Your Child – It’s so important to teach your child to care for their own body. Modeling how and what to eat is an integral part of this process and for a child with a food allergy it’s even more critical. Teach your child the name of their allergy and the language to describe it; for example, “I am allergic to gluten” or “I cannot eat eggs.” Engrain the need for proper hand washing and encourage kids to keep their hands away from their mouths. Explain in simple terms to your child what having an allergy means, and in a non-threatening way, what to notice if their bodies are sending them the message that they may have had exposure to their allergen. They need to know which trusted adult to whom to turn in any given environment (teacher, coach, babysitter, party host, etc) if they do sense they may have had an exposure. Encourage them to ask questions about foods if they are uncertain about ingredients and teach them to read the ingredient lists on food labels once they have that skill (the ingredient list is what matters, not the information on the front of the package). Once they get to this stage, you can feel more confident with their ability to eat in environments where you are not supervising them.
• Research Food Options – There are myriad online resources to guide you with brands that provide safe, allergy-free options for your child. com is one of many. Set aside some time to look through the options and order a variety of things if possible for your child to try and for you to have on hand. Buying allergy-free options in bulk is a safety net, as you can feel at ease knowing that when you’re in a rush and need to grab and go, you’ll have what you need stocked and ready!

These tips will help you feel more confident as you try to make sure that you feel more confident in helping your child and make it easier for you to address their needs.

How to Navigate Different Social Environments

Of course, your child isn’t with you every moment of every day. You may also need to figure out how to make sure your child is ready and able to navigate other settings. For example:

• School – Schools are increasingly aware and sensitive to food allergens and many are nut-free. They often have policies in place that discourage children from sharing food and for washing hands before eating. Make sure that your child’s classroom teachers and the school nurse are well aware of your child’s specific allergies and care plan. Deliver this information in writing and review it verbally.
• B-day parties and Play dates – Connect with the host to make them aware of your child’s allergy and advise them of your plan; in certain instances, it may be easier for your child not to participate in the food provided in these contexts and in other contexts, it might be fine. Choose what’s simplest for you. In either of these scenarios, it’s appropriate to bring an allergy-free food, snacks or desserts so that your child can eat with the group without concern. Depending on the relationship with the host, it’s also reasonable to inquire about what food/snacks will be served so you know in advance if your child can enjoy some of what is there. Giving the host a heads up about your child’s food allergy as well as informing them of your plan for your child is a good idea as well so that they can be supportive if necessary. Remind your child that social events are about spending time with friends and family, not just about food. Emphasizing the fun can help shift their focus.

By implementing these strategies, you can help your child navigate daily activities with greater confidence and you will hopefully also be able to feel more secure as they eat in environments without your direct supervision. When you take a proactive approach with planning and education and create a supportive environment, you can help your child fully engage in their life and not feel limited by their allergy.